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Friday, 06 November 2009

  • I was warned

    I was warned at work today numerous times about the guy that's been stalking me. I picked up a few obvious observations with him already but it was made really known through the conversations that the man is a psycho. His pieces aren't all there and I need to watch myself at all times. Everyone has been watching out for me at the store but still...sometimes that isn't enough.

    How many more nights to have to be scared that a crazy man is going to attack me? How many more damned nights. Doesn't the men in this world realize that I've already been abused 21 years out of my life...let's just add a few more sleepless nights and a few more days of abuse.


    I wonder if I'll ever meet a man that won't abuse me, won't talk down to me, won't lay a hand on me or disrespect me.

    I wonder if I'll ever stop being afraid for my life. How many more times must I pray to God just for my safety from men.

    I don't get it. Why is the world so full of evil.

    Okay before anyone jumps down my throat. No, I wasn't dating this guy. No, I wasn't interested in him. No, I didn't lead him on. I really would appreciate if people stopped assuming on Xanga that I just want to be with someone because I don't want anything to do with the male species period.

    I'm not a mentally sick girl. I've been abused all of my dang life and ya what I smile a lot and I'm quite a happy person....I just use Xanga to vent and express my inner demons that we all freaking have. I don't appreciate being picked apart so save your stupidity, your brain cells and your intellect and use it on someone who really is lost and confused in life because I am doing just fine, thank you. Ya'll don't know me so stop assumin ya do.

  • If I was a killer?

    You know what I find interesting maybe even a little annoying at times? When the discussion of guns come up and I mention I was taught to shoot real young. People almost always look at you like your some crazy that is gunna off the world. Sorry to "disappoint" them in their "judgements" but unlike some kids in today's generation I’m not stupid or a psychopath. I was taught to have respect for firearms and my elders.

    Firearms are dangerous that is an easy conclusion...but they are even more dangerous to the firearm uneducated, the mentally sick, the stupid ones, the ones who don’t take the time to teach their children the proper mechanics of a gun and the ones who are just blood hungry.


    Let me apply this theory to real life.

    If it where up to Fay, Charles, Sue, half the world and my coworkers I wouldn’t have ever learned to shoot a gun because they are dangerous. Oh boy *throws hands in air*. My father was just equally and more dangerous. Yet if it were up to them(taking out my co-workers in this picture) they wouldn’t have let my mother, brother, sister and I be abused everyday by my father whether mentally, physically, emotionally, socially or sexually until his death.

    Now if we add 2+2 we get four, right? Calculating all of this out it comes to be 16-17 years of going through hell. They chose the “If we ignore it, it’ll go away” root.  Therefore, us four relied on each other for motivation to live. All four of us kids had plenty enough availability/knowledge to an arsenal all those years we were pretty much “tortured”. “Surprisingly” not once did my father get shot even though there were plenty enough opportunities to ya know pull out the 30-30 and blow his head off. If my father would have lived one more week we would have all been dead. Do you think at that point those guns would have come out and one of us shot him? Maybe. I can’t say no to that because if your life depended on it and it was applicable at the time you might want to question yourself. What would you do?

    Even though there were times none of us knew if we’d even make it through the night we didn’t run to the closet, grab the gun and shoot the bastard. Why? Because him and my grandfather taught us respect. You don’t point a gun whether loaded or not at ANYONE no matter what kinda crap they put you through, you carry yourself with grace and be the bigger person. But during those periods were we ever even tempted to bring out those guns and play with them? Point them at people, bring them to school to shoot the bullies that picked on us? Can I get a no?

     

     

    People tend to pay no attention to that not only are guns dangerous but a pencil can kill someone if the person using that wooden or plastic graphite filled stick really wanted to stab someone with it. Though somehow all of us on a daily basis conjure up the “courage” or maybe sensibility to not kill…BECAUSE PENCILS AREN’T/WEREN'T USED/MADE TO STAB PEOPLE.

    I learned to shoot at 5. Have I ever killed anybody?  No. Do I plan on it? HELL NO.
    I always carry a pencil with me….I could kill someone if I wanted to.
    I have two arms, a tongue and two legs maybe we should just cut them off.

    A person is dangerous enough with his mouth and tongue …Why take the chance of dying?

    OFF WITH THE BODY PARTS!!!!

Monday, 02 November 2009

  • I like the cheese kind sir.

     It is so incredibly amusing to people watch just for the sheer fact of how people react to simple statements. I could say "I like cheese" and I am sure someone would have an issue with it. Or... maybe even scream at me for liking cheese because I'm hurting the animals or some nonsense like that. Just because, well, we as humans like to stick our nose and voice in everything that possibly has an opening for ridicule or speculation. Now, if for one moment we all stopped and when I say we I mean us cheese lovers and without judgement listened to the noncheese eaters we would understand there reasoning and vice versa.

    What was one of the first things we learned while growing up (besides tying our shoe laces)? Manners and sharing. Our parents (most parents) nearly drilled it down our throats to do these god-awful things. Why? Our parents must have been crazy. Because I say phoooy on manners lets just get down and dirty and eat those noncheese eaters alive...mwahahahahahahahahahaha!


    (This is the kind of blog one gets after not posting in um...forever. Miss me?)

    Are you afraid of the cheese?

    S6300533

Monday, 26 October 2009

  • Why I don't wanna date-Uncensored

    Despite what men say about themselves a lot of them are swinia. Yea...I'm bashing some men here because I am tired of stupid guys who have stupid crushes who get fuckin' jealous over nothing...because they assume and they think and they blah blah blah blah try to start shit with me.

    Yea I'm in a bad way right now...the reason why? Because of a man...actually a few men...one of them being my father. So yell at me and say stop picking on men because not all of them are bad blah blah blah blah...seriously shut the fuck up. When you've heard enough of their lies, their deceit, their pathetic attempts to call themselves men...then you can sit there and say there are nice ones out there and lecture me on life. I don't need a damned lecture. I've been there, I've seen it all, I've done it all, I've heard it all and I'm tired of being treated like I know nothing just because I'm only 21. I'm only 21 and I've seen enough that would make ya'll fuckin' cringe.

    The next man that calls me a name, that makes fun of me, that harrasses me, stalks me, tries to humilate me, tries to fuck me over, abuses me whatever...that's it. They wanna see the nice Nicole...the happy, smiling, giggling, lovin' girl turn into a cold hearted, tough ass bitch...so be it. I am sick and tired of this crap. I am sick of men thinking it's okay to treat girls like fuckin' shit. I am tired of bein' the nice girl who gets worn and torn...for what? NOTHING....just because they think they can...because they think their superior. I'm sorry but they don't know me, my roots, my genes, my nothin. It's about damn time I stuck up for myself and if the peanut gallery has any qualms about this they can kiss my ass. I'm tired of bein' the girl that does nothin. 

    Ya know, I know a nice man when I see one but I can count them on one hand. That's it...just one fuckin hand.

    So...if you claim yourself to be a "nice" man...I would suggest looking at yourself and really think if your a nice one or not.

    Yea...I'm a little pissed right now and yea I almost punched a guy today. I'm done toleratin' garbage from a boys who think they are men.

    P.S. This isn't directed towards Xanga men. Ya know I love ya'll like family <3

  • Ticked off and Uncensored

    You know what pisses me off more than anything? It's when people sit here and send me messages telling me goodbye because I have no time to talk to them and then they sit there and whine about it makin' me feel like the bad guy. Why do I not have the time to talk to them...I don't know? Is it because I work two fuckin' jobs? or is it because I just wanna ignore them because I'm such a cold hearted bitch? Then they repeatedly sit there and whine and whine and whine over what? NOTHING? Do we not have anything better to do then make Nicole feel any worse than she already does?

    Or the people that call me and tell me they are ignoring me on purpose because I hurt them. Oh geeze I broke up with you. I'm sorry your an immature fake. Not my damned problem. You don't care about the things I have to say and pry until I just wanna scream "Shut the fuck up" How many damned times do I needa hang up on you and ignore your phone calls for you to get it? Hmmmm? All you care  about is you and your 14 hour days, your this your that, your blah di fuckin' dah...seriously? No. One. CARES anymore! Hence the reason your surrounded by selfish idiots! GROW UP!

    Ode to the manager at Wendy's who makes me feel like crap because guys want me and girls don't want him. I'm sorry that you don't feel good about yourself but don't take your inner/outter  bitterness towards me. I have enough problems right now. It's people like him that  unleash there shit out on people like me because I smile a lot. You know people are more attracted to you when you smile then when you frown and be miserable all the damned time. I don't needa get sarcastic text messages just because your lonely. Once again not my problem. Yea guys want me....who. the. fuck. cares. I don't want them??? Hell, I would love for a normal guy to ask me out on a date who's not gunna call me a fuckin' cunt or a bitch. Hmmm...how bout that one??? So your a "nice" guy who never gets the nice, beautiful girls. Maybe if you weren't such a fuckin'drunk some of us would actually be interested in you. Go figure? Boys-stop pretending to be good men...do I look that fuckin' stupid?

    And to my dearest daddy... This is a big fuck you to the man who gave me shit for a life and now we all gotta deal with the damned consequences....the reason why me and my family are so fucked up. It really was just like any other time so incredibly nice of him to give us hell and then leave just when it was startin' to get "good". Someone shoulda did somethin' long ago...because he sure as heck fuckin' deserved it but they were all pansy's and didn't...and they hate him? They should hate themselves. They are lucky he didn't kill us...good thing he died when he did.

    *breathes*

    Now I'm going to work out and maybe make pie.

    It's been a rough day already and I don't need no sassafras from anybody.

    *sighs*

XxWiltedRosexX

  • Visit XxWiltedRosexX's Xanga Site
    • Name: Nicole
    • Country: United States
    • Birthday: 8/22/1988
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 1/26/2005
    • True

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  • Country girl <3
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Chatboard (6)

  • Knight_of_Renown
    Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to You! May God Bless you and Keep you. The whole year through! Thank You, Darling Girl! You are a Peach, that's plum sweet, and swell in a pickle.
  • Knight_of_Renown
    Awh! Phooy! I missed it?! Dang it! Just hog tie me and slap me bald headed! Maybe I can make up for it with a ________? A. A poem B. A get out of Jail free card! C. A bunch of Black Balloons! D. A You fill in the blank! E. All of the above.Sorry Sweet Darling! I remember you saying it was coming up
  • Xx_IWannaWWIIRomance_xX
    Hey girl, Happy 21st Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope it's awesome for you!!!!
  • XxWiltedRosexX
    @cllns_smm - Anytime sweetie. I'll always believe in you...remember to always believe in yourself as well!!! You have all the potential in the world just have faith in yourself and you'll go far!!!!
  • cllns_smm
    Well, it's Sam. I just thought I'd say thanks for always being there when I needed a helping hand, or just some inspiration. You know, few people ever show me any good will, and I never have had anyone truly believe in my potential. But anyway, thanks for always being there. S.C.
  • IXOYE_AD
    Hey, just want to say THANK YOU for the wonderful prayer shawl, your such a dear! God Bless you!