I was warned at work today numerous times about the guy that's been stalking me. I picked up a few obvious observations with him already but it was made really known through the conversations that the man is a psycho. His pieces aren't all there and I need to watch myself at all times. Everyone has been watching out for me at the store but still...sometimes that isn't enough.

How many more nights to have to be scared that a crazy man is going to attack me? How many more damned nights. Doesn't the men in this world realize that I've already been abused 21 years out of my life...let's just add a few more sleepless nights and a few more days of abuse.

I wonder if I'll ever meet a man that won't abuse me, won't talk down to me, won't lay a hand on me or disrespect me.

I wonder if I'll ever stop being afraid for my life. How many more times must I pray to God just for my safety from men.

I don't get it. Why is the world so full of evil.

Okay before anyone jumps down my throat. No, I wasn't dating this guy. No, I wasn't interested in him. No, I didn't lead him on. I really would appreciate if people stopped assuming on Xanga that I just want to be with someone because I don't want anything to do with the male species period.

I'm not a mentally sick girl. I've been abused all of my dang life and ya what I smile a lot and I'm quite a happy person....I just use Xanga to vent and express my inner demons that we all freaking have. I don't appreciate being picked apart so save your stupidity, your brain cells and your intellect and use it on someone who really is lost and confused in life because I am doing just fine, thank you. Ya'll don't know me so stop assumin ya do.

 It is so incredibly amusing to people watch just for the sheer fact of how people react to simple statements. I could say "I like cheese" and I am sure someone would have an issue with it. Or... maybe even scream at me for liking cheese because I'm hurting the animals or some nonsense like that. Just because, well, we as humans like to stick our nose and voice in everything that possibly has an opening for ridicule or speculation. Now, if for one moment we all stopped and when I say we I mean us cheese lovers and without judgement listened to the noncheese eaters we would understand there reasoning and vice versa.

What was one of the first things we learned while growing up (besides tying our shoe laces)? Manners and sharing. Our parents (most parents) nearly drilled it down our throats to do these god-awful things. Why? Our parents must have been crazy. Because I say phoooy on manners lets just get down and dirty and eat those noncheese eaters alive...mwahahahahahahahahahaha!


(This is the kind of blog one gets after not posting in um...forever. Miss me?)

Are you afraid of the cheese?

You know what pisses me off more than anything? It's when people sit here and send me messages telling me goodbye because I have no time to talk to them and then they sit there and whine about it makin' me feel like the bad guy. Why do I not have the time to talk to them...I don't know? Is it because I work two fuckin' jobs? or is it because I just wanna ignore them because I'm such a cold hearted bitch? Then they repeatedly sit there and whine and whine and whine over what? NOTHING? Do we not have anything better to do then make Nicole feel any worse than she already does?

Or the people that call me and tell me they are ignoring me on purpose because I hurt them. Oh geeze I broke up with you. I'm sorry your an immature fake. Not my damned problem. You don't care about the things I have to say and pry until I just wanna scream "Shut the fuck up" How many damned times do I needa hang up on you and ignore your phone calls for you to get it? Hmmmm? All you care  about is you and your 14 hour days, your this your that, your blah di fuckin' dah...seriously? No. One. CARES anymore! Hence the reason your surrounded by selfish idiots! GROW UP!

Ode to the manager at Wendy's who makes me feel like crap because guys want me and girls don't want him. I'm sorry that you don't feel good about yourself but don't take your inner/outter  bitterness towards me. I have enough problems right now. It's people like him that  unleash there shit out on people like me because I smile a lot. You know people are more attracted to you when you smile then when you frown and be miserable all the damned time. I don't needa get sarcastic text messages just because your lonely. Once again not my problem. Yea guys want me....who. the. fuck. cares. I don't want them??? Hell, I would love for a normal guy to ask me out on a date who's not gunna call me a fuckin' cunt or a bitch. Hmmm...how bout that one??? So your a "nice" guy who never gets the nice, beautiful girls. Maybe if you weren't such a fuckin'drunk some of us would actually be interested in you. Go figure? Boys-stop pretending to be good men...do I look that fuckin' stupid?

And to my dearest daddy... This is a big fuck you to the man who gave me shit for a life and now we all gotta deal with the damned consequences....the reason why me and my family are so fucked up. It really was just like any other time so incredibly nice of him to give us hell and then leave just when it was startin' to get "good". Someone shoulda did somethin' long ago...because he sure as heck fuckin' deserved it but they were all pansy's and didn't...and they hate him? They should hate themselves. They are lucky he didn't kill us...good thing he died when he did.

*breathes*

Now I'm going to work out and maybe make pie.

It's been a rough day already and I don't need no sassafras from anybody.

*sighs*